Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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