you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize