I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
