Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i need some magic done to my vagina
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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