I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
