There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
this is an emotional support booty call
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
