just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
