just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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