just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
