Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
