I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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