why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
