It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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