No awkward lesbian experiences without me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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