did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
