I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you bring me the toilet please
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm both gender and math confused
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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