We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
