whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
