i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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