just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
