he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
