I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
