PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
