i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
