On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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