Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
