I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
