I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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