My friends, they love my intelligence
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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