I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
