She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
