I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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