wat bout pragnant strippers??
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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