just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
