I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
