I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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