His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
