I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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