ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want to have your abortion
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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