so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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