She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
