the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
