I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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