Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
