So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm passing your future prison.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He passed out mid-signature
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
