I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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