**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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