There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
