Porn is love you can see.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
