you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize