I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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