he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
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my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
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If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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