Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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