Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
