You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
