i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
