I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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