The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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