he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
