You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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