Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
