hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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