you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
