Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
