I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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