PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
