dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
