I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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