the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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